The Morning Show with Chase and Elaine
by Incognito Albatross
Summary: When it comes to news coverage, there's no better duo than ten-year-olds Chase and Elaine! Together with their slightly crazy friend Trace as cameraman, Chase and Elaine set off to covering all the news the Pokemon world has to offer - from the good to the bad to the bizzare. What could possibly go wrong? Updates very rarely due to me being busy with other projects.
1. E1: Rockets and Red

"Recording in three...two...one!"

The lights flickered on, revealing a table set with two eternally untouched glasses of water and two microphones. Sitting at the table were two kids - a girl with brown hair tied into a loose ponytail under an orange and white cap, and a black-haired boy with a red and white cap and a bored expression on his face. Behind the kids, a window looked out onto the bustling streets of Saffron City.

"Hello, viewers, and welcome to the first ever airing of the Morning Show with Chase and Elaine!" the girl, Elaine, said enthusiastically. "In this fantabulous news and talk show, we will be discussing current events and conducting interviews with the people involved in these events. In addition -"

The boy, Chase, glared at Elaine, then cut her off. "Yeah, I think I'm gonna interrupt you right here before you bore everyone to sleep. I mean, seriously, who uses the word _fantabulous_?" Chase turned to the audience. "She writes fanfiction, you know. What could be nerdier than that? But enough about her. I bet you're all wondering how two ten-year-olds got to be TV show hosts. Well, you see, there were originally going to be adult hosts, but then it turned out that they were actually in Team Rocket. They got arrested a few hours ago, and our channel, Kanto Now, was desperate for some hosts. Our parents work for Kanto Now, so somehow one thing led to another and we got the job. And since the cameraman was also apparently in Team Rocket, we got our friend Trace to operate the camera. Hopefully he knows what he's doing."

"We would ask Trace to introduce himself, but…" Here Elaine's voice dropped to a whisper. "Nobody likes him. You see, he lacks the jerk factor of Blue, he's too friendly, and more importantly, he hasn't got any _fangirls_."

Trace stared at Elaine from behind the camera, a wide grin slowly spreading over his face. "Not to be rude or offensive or _unfriendly_ or anything, but I'd like to point out that you don't have any fangirls either."

Elaine, for once, was struck silent. With a smile, Chase resumed speaking. "As much fun as that was to watch, I think it's time we actually talked about the matter at hand. First of all, let me introduce our sponsor, Celadon Game Corner - a fun place for everyone!" Chase stared down at the papers in his hand. "Now for today's news! Yesterday at ten p.m., an eleven-year-old boy named Red apparently discovered Team Rocket's base, which was hidden under the - oh, crud."

Elaine glanced at the paper. "Um, it says here that Red discovered the base under, um, the previously mentioned Celadon Game Corner. Our _former_ sponsor. Emphasis on _former_. We are definitely not being sponsored by Team Rocket in any way, shape, or form." She turned to Trace and hissed, "You better find us a new sponsor!"

Chase cleared his throat loudly. "Anyway, this Red kid allegedly defeated all of the Rockets in the base with his Pokemon, driving them out of Celadon City. Unfortunately, only two of the Rockets were arrested."

"We'll be interviewing them now!" Elaine exclaimed. "Coming to you live from Celadon Jail, it's Jessie and James!"

Nothing happened.

"I _said_ , coming to you live from Celadon Jail, it's Jessie and James!" Elaine snapped. "Trace, do the thing with the split screen already!"

"Sorry, it isn't working," Trace explained. "But I did politely ask the cops at the jail to let me video call Jessie and James, and they very nicely allowed me to do so. Here you go." He walked up to Elaine and handed her his phone.

Elaine sighed. "Well, then. Coming to you live from a ten-centimeter screen, Jessie and James!"

"So, I heard the two of you got arrested. What is your comment on this?" Chase asked, looking into the phone.

"Those police better prepare for trouble and make it double!" a high-pitched, feminine voice yelled from the phone - evidently Jessie's.

"Do you have anything to say for yourselves?" Elaine said.

"We were just trying to protect the world from devastation and unite all peoples within our nation!" a masculine voice - James's - said pleadingly.

"Yeah, and to denounce the evils of truth and love and extend our reach to the stars above! You can't blame us for anything!" Jessie screeched.

"Actually, the judge found you guilty of assault and robbery, so technically we _can_ blame you for something," Chase replied.

"You little twerps! Let me tell you something - when we get out of here, we'll blast off at the speed of light!" James declared.

"And when that happens, you need to surrender or prepare to fight!" Jessie shouted.

"Meowth! That's right!" an odd, growly voice snarled.

And before the two hosts could ask any more questions, a loud beeping noise sounded out, signaling that Jessie and James had hung up.

"Well, that went fantastic," Chase said sarcastically. "Great job, Trace."

Trace beamed. "Thank you, friend!"

"We have one more interview to do," Elaine announced. "Here comes the kid sensation himself - Red!"

A serious-looking boy with brown hair and eyes walked up to the table. As there was no chair for him to sit in, he wound up just standing there awkwardly.

"Thank you for coming in today, Red," Chase said.

Red smiled and nodded. "..."

"Now, let's talk about what's been on everyone's minds - how did you, a child, manage to locate and defeat a criminal organization? What really happened at the Celadon Game Corner?" Elaine asked, giving Red a dubious look.

Red shrugged. "..."

"Care to elaborate?" Elaine suggested.

"..." Red said with a sigh.

"Um, could you please say something? You know, with your mouth?" Chase muttered.

Elaine elbowed Chase. "You don't use your mouth to speak, stupid. It's a complicated process that involves many body parts."

Chase rolled his eyes. "Okay, Red, could you say something with your _many body parts_?"

Red opened his mouth. "..."

"Can you do sign language?" Elaine asked, a hint of desperation in her voice.

Chase gave her a hard look. "Maybe _he_ can, but even if he does, can you actually understand him?"

"Well...no," Elaine mumbled. She looked down at her hands, which still held Trace's phone. Suddenly, she sat bolt upright, her eyes bright. "Oh! I've got it! Red can use the flash on this phone to give us answers in Morse Code!"

Chase facepalmed. "Do _you_ know Morse Code?"

Elaine deflated, sinking back into her chair. "...No."

"Look. I know I'm generally a lot stupider than you, but I think I have a better idea," Chase said with a smirk.

Elaine raised her eyebrows. "Oh, really? And what's your _fabulous_ idea, o great one?"

Chase fished around in his pocket, then pulled out a notepad and a pen. "It's called _getting Red to write down his answers_. Ever heard the phrase, 'think smarter, not harder'?"

"Ever heard the phrase, 'shut up'?" Elaine said acidly.

Chase shoved the notepad and pen at Red. "Just write, will you?"

Red nodded and furrowed his brow. For several moments he stared blankly down at the piece of paper. Finally, after two minutes of awkward silence had passed, Red brought his pen down on the notepad three times, then passed the notepad back to Chase. Chase read what Red had written, then sweatdropped. Silently, Chase held up the notepad for Elaine to see, and then held it up to the camera.

On the notepad, there were three dots in a row - an ellipsis - and nothing else.

"It looks like Red's taught us all a valuable lesson - if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything!" Trace remarked cheerfully. Chase and Elaine just stared at him, then rolled their eyes in perfect synchronization.

"W-well, thank you for c-c-coming, R-Red," Elaine stammered. She got out of her chair, stood behind Red, and shoved him forward. "It looks like we're out of time. I'm sure that Chase and I will always remember your, um, _outspokenness_."

Red took the hint and walked away, his head drooping.

"Well, that actually is all the time we have left today," Chase announced. "We'll see you next time on the Morning Show with Chase and Elaine!"

The two kids smiled at the camera as it continued to blink, still recording.

Elaine's smile grew strained and manic, and beads of sweat trickled down her face. She cleared her throat, then coughed loudly. "Ahem. Trace. The camera. _Now_. _Trace!_ I swear, I'm going to -"

Trace turned the camera off.


	2. E2: The Red Guys and the Blue Guys

"He's late," Elaine groaned, slumping over in her chair.

Chase nodded. "Over half an hour late."

"Is he even coming back?"

"Of course. It would be _unfriendly_ of him not to."

Elaine sighed and took a swig out of her water glass. A moment later, she spat up the water, coughing furiously. "What is this stuff? Is it even water?"

"Actually," Trace said, walking into the room with a piece of paper in his hand, "I decided that replacing the water in the glasses every time enough of it evaporated was too much work, so I put a liquid that evaporates much slower than water in the glasses instead. I mean, it's not like you're supposed to actually _drink_ from the glasses." He glanced at Elaine, smiling. "Don't worry, I'm pretty sure it's only slightly toxic. Nothing to worry about."

"Only _slightly toxic_?" Elaine exclaimed.

"You spat it up, didn't you? You'll be fine," Trace explained. "Plus, not having to refill the cups as often gave me the time to go find us a new sponsor." He walked over to Chase and handed him a paper.

"Mahogany Souvenir Shop," Chase read off the paper. "Sounds pretty legit. Nice job."

"Why, thank you! I just love helping my friends!" Trace replied.

"When you're not poisoning them," Elaine muttered, clutching her stomach. "Can we just start the show already and get it over with?"

A few minutes later, the three kids were in their positions. Elaine was looking perfectly fine, other than the fact that her skin had taken on a slightly greenish tinge. Trace gave Chase and Elaine a thumbs up from behind the camera. "Recording in three...two...one!"

"Good morning and welcome to the Morning Show with Chase and Elaine!" Chase declared. "Our show is proudly sponsored by the Mahogany Souvenir Shop - just a souvenir shop, nothing suspicious about it, no need to be alarmed!"

"That's good. I don't like being alarmed. Do you like being alarmed, Chasey-wasey?" Elaine said with a giggle. Chase looked at her and noticed that her eyes had turned from brown to light green.

"Um, no, I don't like being alarmed. And don't call me that," Chase snapped.

Elaine flung an arm around his shoulders. "Oh, don't be like that! We have to do the newsy stuff, remember?" Without waiting for a reply, she faced the camera. "Chasey-wasey isn't feeling very newsy-woozy today, so I'll tell you the news instead. In Hoenn, we've been hearing _alarming_ reports of bad guys. There are the red ones and the blue ones. And the blue ones like the ocean and stuff, and the red ones like the...um...they like the red hot pointy things?"

"What Elaine is saying is that there have been recent reports of trouble being caused in Hoenn by two organizations - Team Magma and Team Aqua," Chase translated. "Team Aqua allegedly wants to expand the sea, while Team Magma wants to expand the land."

"That's exactly what I said the first time!" Elaine exclaimed. "Don't be such a bummer. Now, we're going to interview a blue guy - and a red guy too, to make it fair. Blue is better, though. I like blue. It rhymes with true and glue, and it's the color of the sky, and -"

"Can you not do that right now?" Chase interrupted. "We're journalists. We're not supposed to pick favorites." He sighed. "I can't believe you're making me be the responsible one."

"Ooh! Here comes the blue guy! Hey, blue and ooh rhyme!" Elaine bounced in her seat, causing it to wobble and lean to one side. She looked down, her eyes widening, then broke out into a big smile. "Ooh! It's rocking like a wave! I'm surfing, see, Chasey -" She was cut off as the chair fell over, bringing her tumbling to the ground.

"Um, is she okay?" asked a young woman in an odd-looking, blue-and-white-striped pirate costume as she walked up to the table.

"Eh, she'll probably be fine," Chase replied. He turned to face the camera, his face all scrunched up like he was trying desperately not to laugh at the woman's weird getup. "Coming to us all the way from Hoenn, here's Bayla!" Clearing his throat to disguise his laughter, he picked up Elaine's chair and set it down by Bayla. "You're in Team Aqua, right? What's it like?"

Bayla hesitated for a moment, looking at Elaine's prone body, then shrugged and sat down. "Well, the first thing you need to know about Team Aqua is that we get a bad rep - most likely because of all the horrible things Team Magma is saying about us. Don't believe a word of it! We aren't criminals - we just want more water for everyone! What's wrong with that?"

"Maybe the fact that humans need dry land in order to survive?" Chase suggested. "Also, isn't global warming melting the ice caps and increasing the sea levels even without Team Aqua?"

"Global warming is a myth!" Bayla yelled, banging her fist on the table. "It's a rumor! And you know who's responsible for creating that rumor? Team Magma! It's all a conspiracy, I tell you!"

Chase put his head in his hands. "But even if global warming is a myth, why do we need all that water?"

"We need lots of water," Bayla explained, "because humanity has been polluting the world for decades, pouring toxins into the beautiful sea that gives life to everything - people and Pokemon alike! You're just humans, and kids at that, but still, can't you see what we're doing to the Pokemon of the sea? We're destroying their homes, their food sources - we're ruining everything! But it's not too late to change everything. We can sweep away everything in a huge tidal wave and return the world to the way it was! Plus, water sports are the best!"

Elaine popped up from behind the table, pumping her fist. "Yeah! And then we can all go surfing and play beach volleyball! Blue guys for the win!"

Chase's eyes darted from Elaine to Bayla and back again. Slowly, he began to scoot his chair away from the two girls, who were eagerly discussing scuba diving and synchronized swimming. When he reached the edge of the table, he cleared his throat and continued. "Well, I've heard that Team Aqua is opposed by Team Magma. What do you have to say about them?"

Bayla narrowed her eyes. "Team Magma are a bunch of -"

"CENSORED!" Trace screamed over Bayla's words. "My goodness, you swear like a...like a sailor! Come on, can't we keep this at a friendly K rating?" Everyone glared at him.

"Well, I guess we'll see if all that language was necessary," Chase announced. "Also here from Hoenn, it's Terra of Team Magma!"

" _What?_ " Bayla screeched. "You invited a member of Team Magma? And I thought that at least one of you was sane!" She grabbed her hydro flask and held it over her head like a baseball bat, poised to strike at any danger.

"I don't recall the definition of insanity being 'open to multiple viewpoints', but maybe that's just me," said another woman - presumably Terra - as she entered the room. This time, Chase couldn't help but chuckle when he saw her outfit - Terra looked even stranger than Bayla. She was wearing what appeared to be a red hoodie with triangular horns on the top and a large letter M on her chest.

"You wanna _go_?" Bayla snapped, rising from her chair. With a smile, Terra brushed right past her and took her seat.

"Could you two please calm down, just as long as we're in the studio? You can fight as long as you want afterwards," Chase pleaded. The two women reluctantly sighed.

"Fine," Terra and Bayla said at the same time. They glared at each other. "Hey! Stop copying me!"

"Come on, let's do the questions!" Elaine said with a giggle. "So, Mrs. Magma, Mrs. Aqua says that you're a bad guy. A chaotic evil guy, really. But are you really a misunderstood lawful good guy? Or are you just neutral?"

Terra gave Elaine a funny look, but eventually spoke. "Well, this Team Aqua woman may have painted us in a bad light. However, if I were you, I wouldn't believe a single word that comes out of her mouth. Team Aqua has been trying to slander us for years. We aren't an eco-terrorist organization - we are just a group of passionate environmentalists who share a love for the land." She bent one elbow and straightened the other in some sort of salute.

"Did you just reverse dab?" Chase asked.

Terra glared at him. "Next question, please."

"As if you need to be asked another question! We all know what Team Magma is up to!" Bayla snapped. "You just want to dry up the oceans!"

Terra shook her head. "All we want to do is expand Hoenn's land mass. If you've ever been to Hoenn, you'd know just how much space water takes up, just how many annoying sea routes a trainer has to go through to get all eight badges. Do you know just how dangerous it is for children to ride through deep water on the backs of Pokemon, with no adult supervision, for hours or even days at a time? Team Aqua wants more of that. Don't you see that the land is the stage for the growth of human civilization? Right now we struggle with issues like overpopulation and the destruction of Pokemon habitats. With more land, we can have all the space we need - for everyone. Besides, water already takes up seventy-one percent of the earth. Would it really hurt to get rid of a little of it in exchange for more land?"

"Yes, it would!" Bayla exclaimed. Chase shushed her.

"You can't scuba dive or surf on land, though," Elaine said, frowning.

Terra nodded. "Yeah, but you can play tennis and soccer and football and -"

"Literally all the sports except for a few," Chase finished. "You know, unlike Bayla, you actually seem to know what you're doing."

"Are you kidding me?" Elaine protested. "It's blue guys for the win! Aqua!"

"Magma!" Chase shouted back.

"Aqua!"

"Magma!"

"Aqua!"

"Magma!"

"Aqua!"

"Magma!"

"Go-Rock Squad!"

Chase, Elaine, Bayla, and Terra all turned to stare at Trace.

"What?" Trace said. "I thought we were naming evil organizations."

Terra rolled her eyes and looked at Bayla. "Obviously, we can't just keep fighting proxy battles through these kids. Time for the real deal."

Bayla shifted into a fighting stance, holding her hydro flask out like a sword. "Bring it."

* * *

 _We are currently experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by._

* * *

"...Okay, I think I've got the camera back up," Trace said. "I must say, those two ladies were somewhat _unfriendly_."

Chase sighed. "Ya think?"

The camera turned on to record a room that looked like a storm had passed through it. The table was upside-down and missing a leg, the chairs were scattered all over the room, the window was partially shattered, and the two glasses of "water" had spilled all over the floor. Three unconscious bodies lay near the window - Elaine, Terra, and Bayla, the latter holding a dented hydro flask.

Chase gave Trace a pat on the head. "Nice aim with that tranquilizer gun. Although I am wondering what sort of store would sell a tranquilizer gun to a ten-year-old."

"The Mahogany Souvenir Shop, of course!" Trace winked at the camera. "The staff there is so very helpful and friendly."

Chase looked over his shoulder. "By the way, why'd you tranq Elaine?"

"I didn't," Trace explained. "She just naturally passed out from drinking that liquid in the cups. I'm sure she'll be all better when she wakes up."

"Well, isn't this _wonderful_?" Chase muttered. "The studio is wrecked, Trace said Elaine is going to be fine - which means she needs to go to the hospital pronto, and it's starting to look like both Team Aqua and Team Magma are completely insane. This literally can't get any worse."

Suddenly, the vent fell down from the ceiling, landing on the floor with a loud clanging noise. A brown-haired man in a white uniform jumped down seconds later, as an annoying yet catchy theme began to play. "Did somebody say Go-Rock Squad?"

Chase slammed his head against the wall. "You know what, Trace? Just turn off the camera."

Trace turned the camera off.


	3. E3: SOS at Silph Co!

The red glow of the camera slightly illuminated a small, dark room. Leaning on the walls were various mops, brooms, and vacuums. A narrow shelf ran across the top of the front wall, with bottles of cleaning supplies precariously balanced on it. Just below the shelf, Chase and Elaine sat, using a turned-over trash can as an impromptu table.

Elaine waved nervously at the camera. "Um, hello everyone, and welcome to the Morning Show with Chase and Elaine. As you can see, I'm back to normal - no thanks to our cameraman."

Trace frowned. "That's not a very nice thing to say, Elaine."

"Can we skip the part where you two have a big argument, and actually tell the people of Kanto what they need to hear?" Chase said, glaring at Trace.

Elaine sighed. "Fine. People of Kanto, you are probably wondering why we're broadcasting from a janitor's closet. You see, Saffron City has been -"

The sound of footsteps rang out from outside. Elaine snapped her mouth shut, and she and Chase pressed themselves against the wall. The footsteps grew quieter until they faded into the background. Elaine's shoulders sagged in relief.

"Well, as you can see, Saffron City has been invaded by Team Rocket," Chase whispered. "There's always been a lot of Rockets around these parts, but now they want something from Silph Co. - you might have heard of it, it's the monopoly that controls the entire Poke Ball industry, along with who knows what else - and the Rockets are apparently set on occupying each and every part of Silph Co. here in Saffron City until they get what they want."

"Which means that every single building with some tie to Silph Co. is under Rocket occupation right now," Elaine continued. "Which is a big chunk of the city. So in order to keep their criminal activity concealed from the rest of the region, Team Rocket has infiltrated the gate staff, and isn't letting anyone enter or leave the city. They also blocked the doors of the gym with dark-type Pokemon so that Sabrina can't get out, and they're clogging up the sky with Magnemite that mess with the radio waves, so nobody can call or text or even broadcast stuff on TV or the radio."

"Except us!" Trace whisper-shouted jubilantly.

Chase nodded. "Yep, we're the only ones who've found a way to broadcast out of Saffron City. Basically, since Team Rocket needs to call the Rockets outside of Saffron City, they've cleared all the Magnemite from a space around the Silph Co. headquarters, the area that is the most heavily occupied. So we snuck into the building, hid in here, and started recording."

Trace stepped in front of the camera, smiling broadly. "We couldn't have possibly made it in here if that Go-Rock Squad guy hadn't distracted the Rockets at the door while we snuck in. Apparently, Team Rocket and the Go-Rock Squad have this unfriendly rivalry, because their names are so similar that they've both accused each other of copyright infringement. In any case, all he asked for was an endorsement - so here goes! This extra-special episode could not have been possible without the super amazing Go-Rock Squad - very friendly strangers of danger who mess with rangers and have great taste in music!"

"Okay, can we just give them the news already?" Chase snapped.

Elaine rolled her eyes. "Actually, we've already given them the news. Do either of you know anything else about the Rocket invasion?"

"...No," the two boys said, looking at their feet.

A smile suddenly appeared on Elaine's face. "I've got it! We can attach a camera to one of our Pokemon and then send it out to spy on Team Rocket!"

"That's literally the stupidest idea I've ever heard," Chase muttered. "It's like asking to get our Pokemon stolen. And then to get caught."

Trace cleared his throat. "Um… Not to be unfriendly or anything, but… Well…"

"Spit it out!" Chase exclaimed. Elaine shushed him.

"Well… Do either of you know how we're going to get out of here?" Trace asked.

Chase and Elaine flinched, looking at each other, then their feet, then the roof, and finally at Trace.

"Umm…" Elaine finally said, "We don't exactly have a plan. But we can just wait for someone to take down Team Rocket. After all, Team Rocket is only a criminal gang...that rules Kanto's underworld...and has supporters in the government and the Pokemon League…"

"We're all going to die here, aren't we?" Chase said. "We have no food and no water. And we're surrounded by criminals. This day just keeps on getting better and better, doesn't it?"

Elaine walked forward and leaned into the camera until she bumped it with her nose. "Please, TV watcher people! Save us! I don't want to starve to death!"

Chase looked over at Elaine's Eevee with a hungry expression. "We don't necessarily have to starve to death, you know…"

"We aren't eating Eevee, you doofus!" Elaine snapped, grabbing Eevee's Poke Ball, returning her Pokemon to it, unzipping her bag, and putting the Poke Ball inside. "Maybe we should eat your Pikachu instead!"

Chase smirked. "I wasn't stupid enough to bring Pikachu with me."

"So you think I'm stupid, huh? I'll show you who's the stupid one! Take _that_!" Elaine whacked Chase with her still-unzipped bag, causing several objects to fall out. Luckily, Eevee's Poke Ball wasn't among them.

Chase looked down in shock at the objects that littered the floor beneath him - a notebook labeled _FanFiction_ , a map of Kanto, and a water bottle.

A _water bottle_.

"Huh," Trace mused. "She actually showed both of us exactly who the stupid one is."

Elaine quickly grabbed the water bottle and held it to her chest, but it was too late. Chase had seen it.

"Elaine, are you hoarding water?" Chase growled, taking a step towards her.

Trace narrowed his eyes ever so slightly. "It would be unfriendly not to share some with us."

"Only half of the bottle is left!" Elaine cried. "If we split it three ways, none of us will get the amount of water we need in order to survive, and we'll all die of thirst! This way, at least one of us gets to survive."

"Who says it has to be you?" Trace asked. Suddenly, his face brightened. "I know! I'll rock-paper-scissors you for it!"

Trace and Elaine faced each other, each holding out a fist. "Rock-paper-scissors-shoot!" They yelled at the same time. Trace extended two of his fingers in a v, symbolizing scissors, while Elaine had two fingers outstretched but pressed together, giving her hand the shape of a gun.

Trace stared at Elaine's hand in horror. "You can't do that."

"You bet I can," Elaine said, smiling. "We said rock-paper-scissors- _shoot_ , right? Well, here's my shot. Gun beats scissors."

"Golly gosh darn it!" Trace swore, throwing his hands up into the air.

"See?" Elaine declared. "Survival of the fittest. And I'm clearly the fittest."

"Oh, really?" Chase held the notebook from Elaine's bag open to a certain page. "Here's an idea - either you give me the water, or I read your fanfiction out loud to all our viewers."

Elaine cringed, but shook her head, still clinging to the water bottle.

"Suit yourself," Chase said, grinning deviously. He cleared his throat and began to read. " _The Dragon Tamer and the Princess_. _Chapter One - The Sparks that Ignite the Flame in my Heart. The sun rose over the ebony mountains, shining its brilliant light onto the balcony where the beautiful Princess Ellen Nakamura of Palletia stood_. _Ellen stroked her caramel brown hair with one dainty hand and shaded her gorgeous hazel eyes._ Hmm, I wonder who this Ellen girl is based on?"

"Shut up!" Elaine cried.

"It's a simple trade, sweetheart. The water for the notebook." Seeing Elaine shake her head again, Chase resumed reading. " _Suddenly, a Dragonite crashed into the balcony, with an unconscious rider barely balanced on it! Luckily, Ellen managed to jump out of the way with her lightning-fast reflexes. She turned to the Dragonite, hoping to speak to it with her natural ability to understand Pokemon speech, but it was already knocked out. However, the rider on its back was beginning to stir. He was tall and handsome, with spiky carmine hair, sharp cheekbones, and blazing umber eyes. Most noticeably, he wore a long black cape that billowed over his muscular body. Ellen's eyes widened - she knew this man! It was Lance of the Elite Four! As she gazed at him, she could feel something stirring in her chest, like an ember that would soon become an inferno of boiling hot passion. Lance stared back into her eyes, and in that moment she knew he felt the same way. But Ellen was a princess, and it had been decided years before she was born that she would marry Prince Blodborne of Quixiali, no matter how dull and dim-witted he was. No matter what her feelings for Lance were, Ellen would have to put them aside for the good of her kingdom. But deep inside her, her heart began to rebel._ " Chase turned to face the camera. "Oooh, somebody has a crush! Lance, I hope you're watching - you just got yet another fangirl!"

"SHUT UP!" Elaine screamed lunging at Chase - then doubling back with wide eyes, having realized that she had just alerted Team Rocket to her presence.

For a moment, the three kids stood around in absolute silence. Then voices rang out from behind the door.

"What was that?"

"Sounds like a little girl!"

"Whatever. Whoever it was, I'll show them what's what."

Elaine turned to Chase, her hands shaking. "Listen, is that a voice I hear?"

Chase nodded, trembling. "It's speaking to me loud and clear!"

"On the wind!" Elaine wailed.

"Past the stars!" Chase whimpered.

"In our ears!" Trace said, joining in.

Elaine shivered. "Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace."

"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place," Chase agreed.

"A team by any other name is much more sweet."

"When everything's worse, their work is complete."

The door was flung open, and three silhouettes stood out against the bright light.

Elaine pointed at one. "Jessie!"

"And it's James!" Chase exclaimed, pointing at another.

Trace pointed at the third, which was much smaller than the other two. "And Meowth, now that's a name!"

"Here to put us do-gooders in our place…" Elaine began.

"...they're Team Rocket…" Chase continued.

"...in our faces!" all three kids yelled at once.

"You little copycat twerps!" Jessie screeched. "We'll sue you for copyright infringement! Go, Arbok!" In a flash of light, her Pokemon appeared, hissing as it loomed over the children.

James nodded. "Go, Weezing!" There was a second flash of light, and another Pokemon appeared next to Arbok, wheezing noises emanating from its mouth.

"Let's go, Pikachu!" Chase yelled, throwing his Poke Ball and releasing Pikachu - evidently, he had just been bluffing about not bringing his Pokemon.

"Let's go, Eevee!" Elaine cried, releasing her Eevee.

Trace held a Poke Ball in his hand, considering. "Let's go…or not. Best to leave my secret weapon a secret." He stuffed the Poke Ball back into his bag before anyone caught sight of it.

Meanwhile, Chase, Elaine, and the Team Rocket trio had shifted into fighting stances, but had yet to call out attacks. Chase opened his mouth to change this. "Pikachu, use, um...use, um...Thunderbolt?"

Pikachu glared back at her trainer. "Pika pi!" (Which roughly translated to, "Really, Shorts Boy? What do I look like, a power plant? I haven't learned that yet, stupid!")

"Vee!" Eevee barked. (Which meant, "I know, right? It's like the average IQ of the human race gets lower every generation. And the quality of their television programming is going down, too - first The Bachelor, now this!")

"Will you two stop talking amongst yourselves and help us!" Elaine snapped.

Simultaneously, Eevee and Pikachu rolled their eyes and said something that translated to, "No."

Chase pushed past his Pokemon. "Fine, then!" He held up a pencil like a sword and Elaine's notebook like a shield. "Come at me, Rockets!" First Elaine joined him, holding her water bottle like a club, then Trace, who had strapped his bag to the camera's tripod legs, creating a makeshift flail.

But before any awesome fighting could take place, a Thunderbolt came out of nowhere, shocking the Rockets and their Pokemon both literally and mentally. For a moment, they stood in place, jiggling with electricity, and then they all fell over, unconscious.

Elaine looked at Chase. "Was that your Pikachu?"

Chase shook his head. "Not mine."

This was indeed true, because from behind the fallen Rockets, a figure rose. It was a familiar eleven-year-old boy with a Pikachu on his shoulder.

"Red!" Elaine exclaimed, throwing her arms around him. "You saved us!"

Red blushed. "..."

Seeing Red's embarrassment, Elaine let go of him and stepped back. She glanced at the camera, as if she had just realized that it was still filming. "So, Red, you got into a Rocket-infested building completely unscathed. How did you do it?"

Red shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. "..."

"Oh," Elaine mumbled. "Right."

Chase waved at the camera. "Well, that's it for today. We'll see you tomorrow on the next episode of the Morning Show with Chase and Elaine! But right now, we're getting outta here!"

And with that, the three kids took off running out of the closet and down the hallway.

Halfway out the door, Trace facepalmed and ran back to the closet. He leaned in towards the still-recording camera. "Since I'm all alone, I might as well say something that's been on my mind for a while. This might not be the most friendly thing to say, but dishonesty isn't very friendly, either. Blue, if you're watching this, I'd like you to know that I think that unfriendly rivals like you are total -"

But before Trace could finish his very unfriendly sentence, the camera ran out of battery and shut down.

 **You may be wondering why I haven't posted anything lately. This is because I've been super busy - busy with lots of schoolwork, standardized testing coming up, and a musical production on top of that. I most likely won't be able to update The Morning Show With Chase And Elaine until the end of the school year (for me, this occurs sometime in May). I still have a special one-shot planned for April 1st (wink wink), but other than that I won't be updating until summer break. See ya then!**


	4. E4: WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

**Episode 4: WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!**

 **Note: Please note that I don't mean any offense to genwunners, DarkSteelShippers, HoennChampionShippers, or MetalDragonShippers. This is just my random take on certain characters and stereotypes. I'm finally on summer break, so updates will hopefully be weekly. I've even got a little story arc in mind for this fic!**

"Good morning, Kanto," Chase said unenthusiastically, slumped over in his chair behind the table in the usual studio. He gestured to the empty seat next to him. "As you can see, Elaine isn't here today - I think she's still mad about the whole reading her FanFiction thing - so I'll be doing this by myself. The Morning Show with Chase." He sighed, looking down at some papers on the table. "This show was brought to you by the Mahogany Souvenir Shop - just a souvenir shop, nothing suspicious about it, no need to be alarmed. Somehow, that description makes me even more alarmed." He stifled a yawn and continued. "Anyway, not much is happening today. It's been two days since the invasion of Saffron City, and Team Rocket seems to have gone into hiding. Red, Silph Co.'s hero, is currently being interviewed by the police, which for obvious reasons isn't going very well. So today, we'll probably be doing an analysis of the newly discovered Pokemon of Galar - Scorbunny, Grookey, and Sobble."

"Sobble is obviously the best," Trace added from behind the camera.

Chase shook his head. "Nah, Scorbunny all the way."

Before either boy could say another word, the door flew open, banging into the wall. Elaine barreled into the studio, sweating and panting hard. Just a few seconds later, a sleek white Pokemon with red wings flew in behind her.

Chase's mouth dropped open. "Elaine, what's going on? Is that _Latias_? Isn't that a legendary Pokemon? How'd _you_ meet one before I did?"

Elaine ignored him. "People of Kanto, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

"Wait, what?" Trace yelped.

"I _said_ , WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Elaine screeched.

"A little detail here, reporter?" Chase snapped. "Exactly _who_ is going to die, _what_ is causing us to die, _when_ are we all going to die, _where_ is this happening, _why_ are we all going to die, and _how_ are we going to die?"

Elaine held up a hand, gasping for breath, then heaved in a long breath of air and proceeded to speak as fast as humanly possible. "TeamAquaandTeamMagmaawakenedtwoancientlegendaryPokemonandtriedtousethemtoexpandthelandandseabuttheycouldn'tcontrolthemandthentheystartedfightingeachotherandthey'regonnadestroytheworldandkillusall!"

"Huh?" Chase asked.

"I think she said something about Team Aqua and Team Magma killing everyone," Trace translated. "Which doesn't make any sense, but I'm gonna go with it."

Elaine glared at the two boys. "I guess I'll have to start from the very beginning, because you two don't understand the simple concept of _legendary Pokemon are about to kill us all_. This is what happened. I saw Latias flying around from my window, so I went outside to take a video, because, you know, she was a legendary Pokemon and would get my YouTube channel tons of views, but then Latias started wailing and her eyes went all white and glowy. And when I asked her what was wrong, she showed me… Latias, could you please show them? Wait a minute, does your sightshare work on cameras?"

Latias nodded and made a high-pitched cry that translated to, "Of course. How do you think my brother and I make all of those awesome MewTube videos?"

With that said, Latias's eyes began to glow, and glowing auras appeared around Chase, Trace, Elaine, and the camera.

Trace looked down at his glowing arms, his eyes wide. "Umm, this isn't radioactive, is it? Because radiation can - AAAAACK!" He let out a scream as he looked around to find that he was no longer in the studio. Instead, he and Latias, Elaine, Chase, and the camera all seemed to be standing on air right above an epic battle.

Two gargantuan Pokemon - one blue with fins and glowing yellow marks, the other red with black spikes and, like the other one, glowing yellow marks. The two Pokemon clashed in the middle of the ocean, roaring so loudly that their roars sent ripples through the water. The two of them appeared to be at a standstill - the blue one crashed its fins into the water, creating towering waves that instantly evaporated as soon as they neared the red one, while the red one stomped its feet to create massive spikes of earth that crumbled under the force of the blue one's waves. Above the two monsters, the too-bright sun bathed the world in harsh light, seeming to bleach the sea of its color, while the ocean churned and crashed in ever-growing tsunamis.

"Don't worry, boys," Elaine explained. "This is just Latias's sightshare. She can use it to show us the location of her brother, Latios. We aren't really here - can't you feel the floor beneath your feet? - and nobody can see us unless Latios allows them to."

"O-Okay then," Chase stammered. "B-but where's Latios? And w-w-what's going on?"

"The total obliteration of the Hoenn region, if not the whole world, is what's going on," a voice sounded out from behind. "And yes, I can see you. Latios gave us all permission."

Latias and the three kids spun around to see a well-dressed man with light steel blue hair and eyes behind them, riding on a Skarmory. Latios flew next to him, carrying two unconscious men - a man dressed in red and a man dressed in blue - by their collars. Upon Latios's back perched a girl, maybe about twelve years old, with light brown hair and a green bandana tied around her forehead.

"I am Steven Stone, Hoenn's champion," Steven continued. "This girl next to me is May. She's been helping me fight Team Aqua and Team Magma for months. The two Pokemon you see fighting are Groudon and Kyogre. And the two wretches being carried by Latios are Maxie and Archie, the leaders of Team Magma and Team Aqua, who awoke these monstrous creatures."

"So that's Steven Stone, huh?" Elaine muttered. "Eh, Lance is cuter."

Chase elbowed her. "What she was _asking_ was how and why Team Aqua and Team Magma did this, and how much destruction is going to happen because of it."

"I'm not sure exactly what happened. May was there, I wasn't," Steven replied.

Elaine exchanged a nervous glance with Chase, then spoke to May, slowly and loudly. "Umm...so, could you please tell us what happened? If you can, that is."

"Well, you see -" May started.

"You can talk!" Elaine exclaimed.

May gave her a funny look. "Um...yeah. Anyway, Team Aqua and Team Magma stole the Blue Orb and the Red Orb from Mt. Pyre. Then they stole a submarine - well, at least Team Magma stole the submarine, I think Team Aqua just had their Pokemon use Dive - and they took it down to the Seafloor Cavern, where Groudon and Kyogre both slept. They used the orbs to wake them up, and they sent them to the surface to expand the land and sea. They both went peacefully to the Cave of Origin, and there they reverted to their primal forms, so now they're even deadlier. And right after that, they started fighting. At first, Archie and Maxie were controlling them just fine, but I guess you can't just control legendary Pokemon like that - anyway, Archie and Maxie started talking in really strange voices, and their eyes got all creepy and glowy, and that was when I realized that they weren't controlling the legendary Pokemon anymore - the legendary Pokemon were controlling _them_. So I had to knock them out. By that point, Seafloor Cavern was starting to collapse, so I got out of there as quick as possible. Team Aqua and Team Magma got out too, and I think they all got into the submarine and hid somewhere. And then I ran into Steven, and here we are now."

Chase frowned. "The Cave of Origin...isn't that in Sootopolis City? If Groudon and Kyogre started fighting right after they went into their primal forms, what happened to the city?"

"Look directly down."

Trace, Chase, and Elaine stared down. Right below them, water churned around piles of rubble.

"That," May finished, " _was_ Sootopolis City. I hope Wallace managed to get everyone out alive."

Steven nodded. "All of the gym leaders are evacuating their respective cities. The Elite Four are helping the towns without gyms. And I've called Cynthia in to help us, for obvious reasons."

Elaine raised her eyebrows. "Oh, _obvious reasons_? Are you confirming DarkSteelShipping?" Beside her, Chase and Trace sweatdropped.

Steven stared at her. "Huh?"

"You and Cynthia as a couple."

Steven jerked back. "What? I'm g- I m-mean, I'm n-not attracted to Cynthia. I just said _for obvious reasons_ because she's so strong."

"What about HoennChampionShipping, then? You and May?"

Steven gagged. "Eww. I'm twenty-five and she'd twelve. That would never be an option."

"Then what about MetalDragonShipping? You and Zinnia?"

"Um, no."

Elaine suddenly perked up. "Maybe I've been going about this the wrong way. How do you feel about OriginShipping? You and Wallace?"

Steven looked down, blushing slightly. "No comment."

"Aha!" Elaine exclaimed, sensing weakness.

"Can we not discuss this right now?" Chase snapped. "Maybe we could talk about something more trivial, like, I don't know, maybe _the utter obliteration of Hoenn_?"

"Oh. Right. That." Elaine cleared her throat. "Can you Hoenn guys think of any solutions to this problem?"

All of a sudden, Maxie's eyes snapped open. They were glowing with a harsh red light. His voice came out in a distorted growl. " _ **There are no solutions to the mighty Groudon. All who stand against it shall perish, including that stupid Kyogre guy. And then the world will become nothing but pure land. Water shall be obliterated from all existence. There will be not a single drop of moisture in existence - in fact, the word moist shall cease to exist. And random people will not get into debates as to whether water is wet, because there will be no wetness. Hoenn will never again receive 7.8/10 for having too much water! Yes, all must tremble at the power of Groun-**_ " Maxie was cut off as May whacked him on the head, knocking him out again.

Meanwhile, Archie lifted his eyelids, his eyes glowing blue, his voice a distorted moan. " _ **The great and terrible power of Kyogre will utterly crush Groudon, and the land, and IGN, and everything else in its path. The planet will return to its primal state, where there is no land, only sea. Not a single molecule of earth will remain. The world will flood over, and everything will erode under the awesome force of water - which is totally wet, by the way. And as for the 7.8/10 thing, you can't spell ignorance without IGN. Yes, all but the mighty Rayquaza are helpless to resist the power of Kyo-**_ " May rolled her eyes, then knocked him back out, too.

A thoughtful expression appeared on Steven's face. "Did he say something about Rayquaza being stronger than Kyogre? Rayquaza...I've heard of that Pokemon before. If the paintings in Granite Cave are accurate, it lives on top of Sky Pillar, and it can stop Groudon and Kyogre."

"Why didn't you mention that before?" May asked.

Steven glared at Elaine. "I was distracted by ships."

May shrugged. "Whatever. So you say all we have to do is go to Sky Pillar, somehow summon an extremely powerful, wild, unpredictable legendary Pokemon, and get it to help us and not eat us?"

Steven nodded. "Pretty much."

May smiled. "Sounds like a plan! I'll drop Maxie and Archie off at a jail on my way there." She whispered something in Latios's ear, and the two of them were off like a flash, Maxie and Archie's unconscious bodies flapping in the wind.

Steven nodded to Chase. "By the way, all of us who are evacuating are going to Kanto. I hope you Kantonians don't mind."

"Of course not," Chase replied.

Trace frowned at Chase. "So you do mind?"

Chase looked at him. "Huh?"

"You just said no when asked if you didn't mind. Which would be a double negative - you don't not mind, which means you do mind. And that's a very unfriendly thing indeed."

Chase just blinked at him in silence for several seconds, then spoke. "Um...okay. I'm not entirely sure what you meant, but I said no as in _no, I don't mind_. Not as in, _no, I don't not mind_. So I didn't not mind - I mean, I don't not not mind - I mean I don't didn't not - _aaargh_! I just confused myself!"

"Well, _we_ don't not mind. Or rather, we _do_ mind." The voice seemed to come from nowhere.

Elaine whipped her head around. "What was that?"

"What was what? I didn't hear anything," Steven replied.

Elaine gasped. "That means that the voice is coming from our broadcasting room!"

Latias jerked forward, flinching in pain, as if something had just kicked her. Her glowing eyes flickered, then flashed back to normal. Just like that, Chase, Elaine, and Trace were standing in the broadcasting room again, exactly as it had been only minutes before.

The only difference was that this time, there were two strangers, a man and a woman, standing in the room, looming over Latias. They wore something that looked like military camo, which would've been cool had it not all been colored in various shades of red, green, blue, and yellow.

The woman kicked Latias again. "Leave this place, you foreign filth!"

Latias let out a scared cry and flew away, crashing through the window in her haste to get out.

"Who the heck are you two, and how did you get in?" Chase yelled.

"We," said the man, "represent a group of Kantonian patriots who are growing concerned with the amount of non-Kantonian Pokemon in our home region. And we got in because the door was unlocked."

"Oh, are you those - those things - what're they called?" Elaine muttered. "Starts with a g…"

"What the idle masses call us is none of your concern!" the woman snapped. "We just wish to rid Kanto of the horrible, invasive Pokemon species that other trainers have brought here from overseas! And the slightly less bad, but still terrible, ones that cross over from Johto, with their uglifying Johto stuff!"

Trace cocked his head. "What uglifying Johto stuff?"

"I don't actually know," the man confessed.

The woman glared at her partner. "Bad stuff as in they're going to mate with honest Kantonian Pokemon, and then their babies will be impure, and soon there won't be a single pure Kantonian Pokemon left in this glorious region! There will just be sentient ice cream cones, and walking trash bags, and evil candles, and stone noses, and swimmy hearts with mouths! No real, interesting Pokemon, like -"

Elaine cut her off. "Genwunners! You're genwunners! I thought they were just a myth!"

The man shook his head. "We will not be referred to by such disrespectful terms! We are the Genuine Excellency Numerators With Unlimited Nostalgia - or G.E.N.W.U.N. for short!"

The woman threw a Poke Ball from her bag, releasing a Muk. "You see this? _You see it_? _This_ is the face of true Pokemonity!"

Trace leaned over and stared into the Muk's droopy white eyes. "It looks...nice."

"Translated from friendly-speak, that means _all I see is a living lump of goo with soulless white eyes that look like they're being eaten by its own body_ ," Chase stage-whispered. "But really, what are you two doing here?"

"Two things," the man explained. "One, driving Latias out from the fair Saffron City. Two, cutting off your access to the Hoenn region so that your shameless propaganda could come to an end!"

Chase gawked at him. "What do you mean?

"Obviously, under the guise of doing a report about Hoenn, you were just making the situation seem much worse than it actually is so that people would come to help and put their precious Kantonian Pokemon at risk! Also, you were trying to get everyone to just accept the fact that all of Hoenn is coming here - no, they couldn't have gone to Sinnoh, or Kalos, or even Johto, then had to come _here_ \- and bringing their tainted Pokemon with them!" the woman cried. "You're all just agents of Hoenn! Come on, show me your Pokemon - or should I say your Fakemon?" She turned to her partner. "Search their bags!"

"Yes, ma'am!" the man said, saluting. He sent out his own Pokemon. "Kadabra, go! Use your majestic Kantonian psychic powers to find any Pokemon they might have!"

The Kadabra nodded and closed its eyes. Slowly but surely, the bags of the three kids all unzipped, and a Poke Ball came floating out of each bag, enveloped in purple light.

Kadabra dropped the first Poke Ball, releasing Chase's Pikachu. "Pi pika pika!" the annoyed Pokemon snapped (translating to, "Hey, I was napping, stupid! Go find someone else to bother!"). The man stared at it curiously, then, nodded to Kadabra to the release the next one.

The next Pokemon out was Elaine's Eevee, which just glared at the man and said nothing. The man looked at Pikachu and Eevee nervously. "Um...these are both good Kantonian Pokemon."

"Exactly!" Trace stammered. "S-so you can just not b-bother to check my Poke Ball, because it obviously contains a normal, p-pure Pokemon, not my secret weapon or anything." The man narrowed his eyes. Chase and Elaine glared at Trace quite murderously for a pair of ten-year-olds.

"Kadabra, open the Poke Ball," the man growled.

"No!" Chase cried. "Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!"

"Pika pi!" Pikachu snarled. ("For the millionth time, I can't use that move yet!").

At the same time, Trace lunged forward and grabbed his Poke Ball, keeping it closed as Kadabra struggled to open it with psychic power. Trace let out a not-so-friendly grunt as the ball began to crack open.

The woman pointed a finger at Trace. "Muk, Gunk Shot!"

"Eevee, take out that Muk!" Elaine ordered. Eevee shot forward and sank her teeth into the gloopy body of Muk, distracting it.

"Elaine, call 110 for the police!" Chase yelled.

Elaine took out her phone, only to freeze. "Wait, what's the number to 110?"

Chase shrugged. "I think it starts with a four."

"Chase...get...my tranquilizer gun…" Trace grunted, still fighting to hold the Poke Ball closed. "It's in...my backpack…"

Chase started rifling through Trace's backpack, throwing random things out - a book, a bottle of berry juice, a cinder block, a glass vase, and a bowling pin - but before he could find the tranquilizer gun, the woman grabbed him and tugged him away.

"Um, guys?" Elaine piped up. No one was listening.

Kadabra narrowed its eyes, a bead of sweat trickling down its forehead. Trace glared back unflinchingly.

Chase lunged forward and reached inside the backpack at the same time as the woman. They both came out holding onto different sides of the tranquilizer gun, which they proceeded to tug back and forth.

"Guys!" Elaine snapped. Again, no one paid her any heed.

Chase's grip on the tranquilizer gun slid down a few inches, and his finger brushed something - the trigger. With a maniacal smile, he pressed down, and the gun fired out a dart - which flew right past the woman and sank into her Muk, knocking it out. Eevee popped out from behind it with a happy bark.

"So you think you've beaten me now that you've knocked out Muk, huh?" the woman cried. "Think again. I'll fight you myself if I have to! FOR THE GLORY OF GENWUUUUUUUN!"  
Chase cocked his head. "Did you just misquote _Fire Emblem Fates_?"

" _GUYS!_ " Elaine screamed.

Silence fell. Everyone in the room, Pokemon included, dropped whatever they were doing and turned to look at her.

"About time," Elaine muttered. She cleared her throat and continued. "I just saw the latest news online when I was on my phone. The whole thing with Groudon and Kyogre ended while we were fighting. May, Steven, and Rayquaza saved the day. Due to the choices of _some_ people, we didn't cover that part - Latias went to Vulpix News and sightshared with them instead, which the manager won't be happy about - but I digress. There's been a lot of damage done to Hoenn, but nobody's going to have to evacuate to Kanto." Elaine turned to the genwunners. "And as you can see, we aren't agents of Hoenn. Whatever Trace's Pokemon may be, it isn't from Hoenn. You can stick around and take a look if you want, but I'd recommend getting out of here before the police come and arrest you for breaking in and assault."

The genwunners looked at each other, then slowly recalled their Pokemon.

"Fine," the woman said, "but hear my words - you haven't heard the last of us. Yes, children, in days to come, you will grow to fear and respect the majestic heroes that call themselves G.E.N.W.U.N.! You will -"

"Can you get the boasting over with and leave already?" Chase suggested.

The woman sighed. "Goodbye...for now."

And with that, the man and the woman hurled themselves out the window, falling straight into a convertible with the top down, which sped off to the east.

Chase stared out the window. "They can't do anything without being overly dramatic, can they?"

Elaine shook her head. "Adults. Always acting like we're in some bad, amateur fanfiction based on a RPG."

"Y-yeah," Trace stammered. "Like t-that would ever h-happen." He cast a furtive glance at something in the distance, then shook his head and looked away.

"Anyway, how about wrapping this train wreck of an episode up?" Chase asked.

Elaine nodded, then turned to face the camera. "Well, that's it for today. We'll see you again in the ne- hey, wait a minute, why isn't the camera flashing red?"

"Because it isn't on," Trace groaned. "Those unfriendly genwunners must've turned it off."

Elaine sighed. "Well, at least this can't get any worse."

Suddenly, two police officers burst into the room. "Genwunners, put your hands up!"

"And now we remember the golden rule of journalism," Chase muttered as he put his hands into the air. "No matter how bad things are, they can always get worse."


	5. E5: Team Rocket Blasts Off Again!

Chase and Elaine smiled at the camera from behind their usual table. Nothing much had changed after the arrest, although the room had been tidied up, the glasses of "water" were gone, and the carpet had been torn out, leaving behind bleak grey concrete.

"Good morning, Kanto!" Chase announced. "Welcome to the Morning Show with Chase and Elaine. As usual, we are sponsored by the Mahogany Souvenir Shop - just a souvenir shop, nothing suspicious about it, no need to be alarmed. Currently offering a special discount on bricks - buy five, get one free. What anyone would want to do with six bricks is beyond me, but you do you."

"You'll be relieved to hear that the police quickly let us go after Steven came around to clear things up," Elaine added.

Behind the camera, Trace nodded. "None of us on this show would _ever_ be involved in criminal activity."

Chase stared at him. "Was that _sarcasm_?"

"N-no," Trace stammered.

Elaine shrugged. "Anyway, after yesterday's train wreck of an episode, we got downsized a bit. We regret to inform you of the loss of our faithfully fuzzy carpet, and our two glasses of liquid matter."

"Anyway, on to the show," Chase said. "We have some interesting news from Viridian City."

"In case you don't know, the gym there has been closed for years due to an absent leader. In fact, the leader has been gone so long that nobody can recall his name. For years, trainers have had to go to somewhere in Johto, usually Violet City, to get their final badges. But that's all changed now!" Elaine declared. "I went to Viridian City myself and interviewed a few residents and visitors about their opinions on this new development. We lack proper film-editing technology, because that's been downsized too, so I'm just going to show you this from my phone." She ran up to the camera and held up the screen of her phone to it to display the video.

 _The video began to play, showing first an old man who was lying across the road._

" _You can't go through here," the man moaned. "This is private property!"_

 _Elaine's voice came from offscreen. "Uh, I think it's actually the way to Route 2."_

" _What's all that sass about? If I were just a bit younger, I'd show you a thing or two!"_

" _Just one question: what is your opinion on the returning gym leader?"_

 _The old man grunted. "If he doesn't sell coffee, I don't care."_

 _The video cut to a picture of Red._

" _So, Red, what is your opinion on -"_

 _Red interrupted her. "..."_

" _Oh. Right. Anyway, I want you to record your gym battle and then text the video to me. My number is -"_

 _The video promptly cut to after Elaine had finished saying the number._

 _Red nodded. "...!"_

" _Good."_

 _The video cut to show a young girl with her hair in Grumpig-tails._

" _So, who do you think the gym leader is?"_

 _The girl shrugged. "That little red-haired boy said that the gym leader was his dad."_

" _Did he give his name?"_

" _Nope. Watch him be a mob boss or something."_

 _Elaine snorted. "Like that would ever happe-"_

A buzzing noise interrupted the video. Elaine paused it and took the phone away from the camera, giving it an excited look. "Red just texted me a video of his match!"  
Elaine raced back to the table and took a seat. Chase leaned over in his chair to watch, and Trace ran over from behind the camera to stand behind the two of them. Elaine cleared her throat and began to narrate the video. "Okay, he's walking in...he's walking...huh, this place is kinda run-down...now he's sliding on some of those slippery floor thingies - what do you call 'em?"

"Spin tiles," Chase replied.

"Right, spin tiles," Elaine continued. "And now he's checking his bag to make sure nothing fell out - jeez, that's a _lot_ of potions...now he's going down the hall...I can sort of see the gym leader...a gu- HOLY ARCEUS ALMIGHTY IT'S GIOVANNI!"

Elaine jerked back so fast that her chair tipped backwards. Luckily, Trace was behind her to catch it and put it back into position. Elaine took a deep breath, her hands shaking. "Viewers, it appears that the boss of the criminal syndicate known as Team Rocket is also Viridian City's gym leader. The video ends there."

"W-well, if Red was d-dead, he w-w-wouldn't be able to text us this, r-right?" Trace stammered.

"Or maybe it was all he could do with his fading strength before he collapsed and died. Sort of like the silent version of last words," Chase said darkly.

Elaine put her phone down, slumping on the table. "Looks like we have official confirmation that the system is rigged."

Trace shook his head. "Why are you two so pessimistic all the time? You fail to account for the possibility that Red beat Giovanni."

Chase rolled his eyes. "Like that would ever happen."

Trace grinned. "You said it wouldn't happen! Now it will!"

"Huh?"

"Remember that one time when you said it couldn't get any worse, and then the guy from the Go-Rock Squad came through the roof? And the time where Elaine said it couldn't get any worse, and then we all got arrested? And the time, just minutes ago, when Elaine said that a mob boss could never be a gym leader, and then we watched that video and saw Giovanni? Oh, and that time when we visited the Vermillion branch of the Pokemon Fan Club, and I said nothing bad could possibly happen, and then -"

Chase glared at him. "I thought we agreed that we would never speak of that _incident_ again."

"Okay, fine. But what I'm trying to say is that whenever one of us says that something won't happen, it inevitably does. Therefore, by saying that Red won't beat Giovanni, you've guaranteed that he will," Trace explained. "You know, I bet I could say that Mew won't be sighted under a truck in Vermillion City, and then in a few minutes it'll happen."

Chase stared at him, utterly bewildered. "I don't think it works like that."

Suddenly, Elaine's phone rang. Elaine glanced at the number. "It's Red."

"Pick it up!" Chase snapped.

Elaine put the phone on speaker mode. "Hello? Is this Red?"

A deep voice that definitely did not belong to an eleven-year-old boy rang out from the phone. "Actually, this is Giovanni." Chase shot Trace a triumphant look. Trace was unfazed.

"Are there any journalists present? I have an announcement to make," Giovanni asked.

Elaine smiled nervously. "Sir, you're in luck. I happen to be an anchor on the Morning Show. You know, the one with Chase, and, well, me."

Giovanni snorted. "I repeat my question: are there any real, credible journalists present?"

"This is live TV, mister!" Elaine snapped. "It could be a lot worse than this. You could be on the radio."

Chase snickered. "Imagine Team Rocket with a radio broadcast. Weekdays at noon, airing the 'Prepare For Trouble And Make It Double' show. I mean, who listens to the radio these days? This is Kanto, not _Johto_."

Giovanni sighed. "Fine. Here is my announcement. Let all of Kanto hear this. Somehow, I, Giovanni, the strongest trainer, have been defeated by the eleven-year-old boy known as Red. Having lost in this fashion, I cannot face my followers. I have betrayed their trust. As of today, Team Rocket is finished forever! As for myself, I shall dedicate my life to training again. I highly doubt that any Kantonian will see me for a long time. Farewell."

Before Elaine could respond, another voice from the phone cut in, sounding like that of a boy. "You were supposed to have been invincible! That's what we - what _they_ wanted. Not much to ask for, was it?"

"Silver, daddy's on the phone," Giovanni hissed.

"And another thing!" Silver snapped. "Why do you keep referring to yourself in the third person? It's not cool or menacing. It just sounds weird. And condescending. When you say it to me, that is."

"My apologies, whoever you are," Giovanni muttered. "I need to have a _talk_ with my son. And then give the phone back to Red."

"Stop saying _my apologies_! Just say _sorry_! Or don't apologize at all, because you're supposed to be feared. And why are you giving the phone back to Red? You're a crimi-" Silver was cut off as Giovanni hung up.

Trace shot a look at Chase. "I could say I told you so, but that wouldn't be friendly. So I won't."

"This doesn't prove your point," Chase protested. "It's just a coincidence. Until Mew gets found under that truck, I won't believe you."

"Boys!" Elaine interjected. "You're missing the point! Team Rocket is gone. Kanto will never be troubled by organized crime on that scale again! The world will come into a glorious new era of peace, stability, and happiness!"

Trace smiled. "Yeah! It's not like Team Rocket will continue to cause trouble in the Sevii Islands for a while, then move to Johto, hack off Slowpoke tails for a profit, force Magikarp to evolve, and take over the Goldenrod Radio Tower."

Chase cocked his head. "Again, that sounded like sarcasm."

"No comment," Trace replied.

Elaine gave her phone a curious look. "Hey, Chase! There's a trending video on YouTube of Mew hiding under a truck in Vermillion City."

Chase slammed his head into the table. Repeatedly. Finally, he spoke. "Okay, let's end this episode now. I have to go question everything I know about how reality functions."

Trace turned the camera off.

 **A/N: Sorry for the late update, I was on a trip. As always, if you have any questions, comments, criticisms, or concerns, please review. I value your feedback, and I am interested in hearing what you thought of these later chapters. I also apologize for the random _Evita_ reference (and for that matter, all the other references to random things I have and will put into this story). I just can't help it. :)**


	6. E6: A Rival Most Unfriendly

The camera jerked and wobbled as its current user, Elaine's Eevee, tried to balance on top of it. Trace, instead of standing behind the camera as usual, sat behind the table in Chase's spot. Elaine sat beside him.

"As you can see, Chase is gone - off having an existential crisis - and Trace very kindly offered to take his place for today," Elaine explained. "Apparently he really wants to interview the guy we're about to talk to. Anyway, welcome to the Morning Show with Trace and Elaine!"

"This program was brought to you by Mahogany Souvenir Shop - just a souvenir shop, nothing suspicious about it, no need to be alarmed," Trace continued. "And by viewers like you. Thank you."

"Today's news is about a very exciting development for trainers interested in the Pokemon League of Kanto and Johto," Elaine announced. "As you probably know, this league has had some troubles in recent years. It was closed down two years ago after a series of scandals including cheating, bribery, corruption, forging money, and littering. Although the closure was mostly due to the retirement of part of the Elite Four. But despite all that, the league reopened a couple months ago, with a mostly new Elite Four. And no champion - until now, that is!"

Trace nodded. "Today, the trainer known as Blue Oak, grandson of the acclaimed Pokemon professor Samuel Oak, defeated Lorelei, Bruno, Agatha, and Lance of the Elite Four, earning his place as the champion."

"But then his rival, Red, came in exactly 151 minutes later and defeated him," Elaine continued. "As of now, Red is the champion of Johto and Kanto."

"We would invite Red in to come talk about it, but that would be sort of counterproductive," Trace said. "So instead, our first guest is Professor Samuel Oak himself!"

Just then, the door opened, and a white-haired man with thick eyebrows walked in, and a peppy theme began to play. Eevee held up a big sign that said APPLAUSE, only to realize that Trace and Elaine were the only ones there.

"Welcome, sir!" Elaine exclaimed. "Please have a seat." Her eyes darted around the room, then rested on Trace accusingly. "Where's the chair?" she whispered. "I told you we needed a new one!"

"Chair? I thought you said bicycle!" Trace whispered back.

"How could the word _chair_ sound like the word _bicycle_?" Elaine snapped.

Trace shrugged. "We'll have to chalk it up to one of the contrived coincidences that plague this show. Also, I was listening to music by the Go-Rock squad at the time."

"Are you going to interview me at all?" Oak muttered. Trace and Elaine ignored him.

"So you really bought a bike?" Elaine asked.

"Yep. It cost me 1,000,000, but it was worth it. It has great handling, it's very sturdy, and it plays music when you ride it!" Trace ran over to his backpack, which was resting against the wall, and somehow managed to pull a bicycle out of the tiny bag. "Here, let me show you."

The moment he got on his bike, a booming voice sounded out from somewhere in the room. " _ **Trace! There's a time and place for everything, but not now.**_ " It sounded a bit like Professor Oak. Trace shrieked and ran back to the table, abandoning him bike.

Elaine gave Oak a funny look. "Did you…"

"Go to the Indigo Plateau after hearing my grandson became champion, only to see that other kid beating him the moment I arrived? Yes," Oak interrupted.

"That wasn't what I asked," Elaine muttered.

"Whatever," Trace replied. "So, Professor, could you please tell us exactly why Blue _lost_?"

"Oh, his name was Blue? I thought it was Green. Or was it Gary?" Oak murmured. He shook his head. "Never mind. Blue lost because he forgot to treat his Pokemon with love and respect. Trainers must always remember that they can only win battles with a trusting team of Pokemon."

"But can you give us some more details on Blue's many faults? I'm sure you have plenty of material to go by," Trace said, smiling, looking slightly manic.

"Um...well, when he was little, he used to flush stuff down the toilet. And he would never eat his veggies. Or brush his teeth - until he was six, he would make Daisy do that for him. He went to study in Kalos once, but they deported him for...um...I'm not entirely sure what he did, they were speaking Kalosian and I was only pretending to understand in order to look smarter. I think they said, ' _Il est un garçon gâté, trop confiant, arrogant et énervant qui n'arrête pas de dire, 'Sentez-moi plus tard'. Et il ne mangera pas ses légumes._ '"

"I'm pretty sure that means, 'This was the thing about three years ago. The group of missile bomb made use of monsters to do evils. But he who is unjust is doomed to destruction, a youth's action dismissed them,'" Trace suggested. Elaine and Oak simply stared at him, not speaking, for a minute.

"I don't think that's what they said," Elaine finally replied.

Trace shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. But anyway, what else did Blue do when he was little?"

"Well, he was very good friends with that kid, until that kid stopped speaking," Oak said with a sigh. "Then he started bullying him. But in his defense, there was a lot of peer pressure involved. He's a sweet boy, really, he's just -"

"Who do you mean by, 'that kid'?" Elaine interrupted.

"Oh, you know that kid. You know, the one that defeated Blue. Very quiet. A girl, I think. Or maybe a boy," Oak replied.

"Why yes, those two genders are very common for some reason," Elaine said, sarcasm evident in her voice.

"I think he was a boy," Trace said.

"Right. And his name was...what was his name again?" Oak wondered.

"Red."

Oak smiled. "Red! That's right. A very nice boy, very kind to Pokemon, but also very introverted. I can't remember the last time he spoke."

Elaine rolled her eyes. "You live in the same town as he does. How do you not remember his name and gender?"

Oak glared at her. "Respect your elders, young lady! I'm just too busy to remember minute details like that. You don't know what it's like, being a Pokemon Professor. You decide to make a Pokemon encyclopedia, just a small, regional project, only featuring the 151 Pokemon in Kanto. But no, that's not good enough, they make you make a _national_ Pokedex with all the Pokemon from Johto included. That means featuring 100 new Pokemon, 251 in total. Are you finished? _Nooo_. They make you feature 386 Pokemon, then 493, then 649, then 721, then 809. And don't get me started on regional variants. And alternate forms. And Meltan, you kids and your Meltan…" Oak buried his face in his hands, moaning.

"Um...okay," Elaine stammered. "You are dismissed."

Oak slowly walked out the door, muttering under his breath. "Kids these days. Everything has to be convenient for them. Back in my day, we did our chores for free. And we liked it just fine!"

"Well, that was...interesting," Elaine said after Oak had left. "I suppose we should move on to our next guest. Right, Trace?"

Trace's smile grew. "Yes! Ladies, gentlemen, and Pokemon who are viewing this, allow me to introduce -"

The door burst open, cutting him off. A boy with brown eyes, orange hair, and a leather jacket strutted into the room. A gaggle of girls followed behind him, taking photos and holding paper out for autographs.

"Do you see them?" Elaine snickered, pointing at the girls. "Those are called _fangirls_ , Trace. You know, like the ones you don't have."

"I'm going to take the moral high ground and pretend that you said nothing," Trace replied, still smiling. "Because I, unlike Blue, am _friendly_."

Blue snapped his fingers, and one girl, who had been carrying a large speaker, put it down and turned it on. A fast-paced, somewhat annoying theme began to play.

"That's _my_ encounter theme!" Trace exclaimed. "Except more retro!"

Blue rolled his eyes. "That's because it was my theme first, and you're just using a remix. Typical Switch kid."

Trace's mouth seemed to be stuck in a smile. "Hello, Blue. I could ask you to have a seat, but I won't."

"Awesome rivals don't need seats," Blue snarked back.

Elaine sighed. "I know you two need to have an epic roast battle right now, which Trace will inevitably lose, but can we get all those fangirls out first? They're clogging up the studio."

Blue nodded, then snapped his fingers again. The fangirls obediently walked out of the door in a single file line. Blue smirked. "So, what's this interview about?"

"Oh, all about the fact that you _lost_ to Red," Trace replied. "Tell me, how does it feel to become champion, only to _lose_ to a silent boy right after? And then to have your grandpa come in and scold you about it?"

"Not great, honestly," Blue admitted. "But it won't happen again. The officials have offered to appoint me as the leader of Viridian Gym, and in the meantime, I'll be training until I'm strong enough to crush Red like a Caterpie."

"But won't Red be preparing for that?" Trace suggested. "Maybe you should consider the fact that Red is just fundamentally _better_ than you?"

"Red? Yeah, no. That boy has eight badges. I have _ten_ ," Blue snapped.

"But don't you only need eight?" Elaine asked.

Blue grinned. "Exactly."

Trace shook his head. "You're missing the point. You got two more badges than Red did, and you still _lost_ to him. Your unfriendly personality is what stabs you in the back."

"Have you not noticed that everyone loves this 'unfriendly personality' of mine?" Blue retorted. "I don't see you getting any fans for being friendly."

Trace opened his mouth to respond, but Elaine cut him off first. "Look, can we just interview this guy? I have a ton of questions to ask him."

"Ask away," Blue said.

Elaine cleared her throat. "What happened to your Raticate?"

"What Raticate?"

"You caught a Raticate, remember? Some guy from the S.S. Anne told me you used it against Red. But it wasn't on the team that you inducted into the Hall of Fame. In fact, a channeler from Lavender Tower said that you didn't use it in the battle against Red that you had there. You know, at the graveyard."

"Oh, _that_ Raticate," Blue replied.

"Well?" Elaine prompted. "Did it die or something?"

Blue gave her a funny look. "Uh, no. I traded it to this trainer for his Eggsecute."

"That's good. There were some rumors that Red killed it."

Blue laughed. "Red? Kill something? Nah, he's too spineless for that. He's decent at making Pokemon faint, though. I'll give him that."

Elaine nodded. "Next question: is it true that you were in the Silph Co. building while it was occupied by Team Rocket?"

"And that you failed to rescue anyone?" Trace added.

"I wasn't trying to save anyone. I don't really care about stuff like that. But I knew that Red was going to come, because he's obsessed with heroism," Blue explained. "And I wanted to battle him. So I waited there for him. Also, I needed to pee, and I heard that the CEO of the company had a gold-plated toilet in his private bathroom."

"We were trapped in that building, you know," Elaine said, annoyed. "You could've at least helped us escape. How'd you get in, anyway? There were Rockets everywhere."

"I have my ways," Blue said with a smirk.

Trace snorted. "More like you just won't tell us because you're a...a…" He opened and closed his mouth silently a few times, then clenched his fists like he was gathering up his courage. "A..j-jerk!"

Blue blinked. "Was that supposed to be an insult?"

"I mean it!" Trace screamed. "You're a jerk, and a meanie!"

Blue bowed. "Why, thank you. I'm flattered."

Trace's face went red. He turned to Elaine. "Help me out here! Give me some more insults that I can say without changing the lovely K rating!"

Elaine pulled a dictionary out of her pocket (no idea how she managed to fit it in there) and flipped through it, then whispered something in Trace's ear.

"You're a hobbledehoy!" Trace screeched. "A dankish, fat-kidneyed canker-blossom!"

Elaine and Blue both burst out laughing. Trace glared at them both, but mostly Blue. "Seriously, why are you such a jerk?"

"Because of people like you," Blue answered.

"Why? What did we do?"

Blue rolled his eyes. "It's more about the fact that you _exist_ , if you know what I mean."

Trace glared at him so intensely that it looked like he was trying to use Mean Look. His mouth remained fixed in a smile. "You wanna know why I keep emphasizing the word _lose_? It's because you're a _loser_. You didn't eat your veggies, you went to Silph Co. to use the bathroom, and you got deported from Kalos when you were a kid. I don't know why, exactly - something to do with missile bombs - but still."

"Yeah, yeah, I'd love to hear your annoying voice for longer, but I have to go now," Blue responded. "You see, people who have importance in the greater scheme of things - unlike you - don't have much time on their hands. Smell ya later!" With a final wave, he walked out of the room. A fangirl ducked inside, picked up the speaker that was still lying on the floor, and hurried after him.

"Okay, time to wrap this episode up," Elaine declared. "About time we had a good episode."

Eevee turned the camera off.

Just then, Chase came barreling into the room. "Breaking news! Samuel Oak grows tired of his job and refuses to make a national Pokedex for Galar!"

"Really? You just had to come in now?" Elaine muttered.

Chase glanced at the camera, which was no longer flashing. "Dang it."

 **A/N: Yeah...this wasn't one of my better chapters. I kind of rushed through it. I wish I knew what you guys thought about these later chapters; what you liked, what worked, and what didn't. Should I make less jokes about Trace? This chapter had a lot, but that was mostly to contrast Trace with Blue. Are my joking references not working? Am I being too obscure? Have I improved on shortening the jokes? I really want to know what you guys think so that I can improve this, but it only works if you say something. I know it's bad form to ask for reviews, but...please. Your reviews were very helpful when you reviewed the first chapter, and it would be very nice to see what people think about the other chapters. Because right now, I have four reviews for the first chapter and none for any of the others.**

 **But really, whether or not you review, thank you for taking time from your busy life to read this story. I am grateful for each and every view.**


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